Life's Gifts by Olive Schreiner

Life's Gifts


I saw a woman sleeping. In her sleep she dreamt Life stood before her, and held in each hand a gift--in the one Love, in the other Freedom. And she said to the woman, "Choose!"

And the woman waited long: and she said, "Freedom!"

And Life said, "Thou hast well chosen. If thou hadst said, 'Love,' I would have given thee that thou didst ask for; and I would have gone from thee, and returned to thee no more. Now, the day will come when I shall return. In that day I shall bear both gifts in one hand."

I heard the woman laugh in her sleep.
by Olive Schreiner

A Child is Born

Are children ever born in love?
Or, are they products of adult confusions?
Decisions to create children...
Are they taken in mutual understanding?
Or, mutual desparation?
Tied to "family responsibilities."

Powercut in Hyderabad

It is a powercut
In the summer-blazing evening of a deccan city.
A woman weeps in the corner of a dark, lonely home
Where doors have slammed shut on her face
Where a useless fan hangs from the cieling
And days crawl past, dragging her youth along

The First Showers of Summer

The night of the full moon...
We saw the abyss into which we both had drifted...
Me...Away from your stifling and secure arms
You...into a private world of grief and illness.

We could never come back together
Lying in the steaming heat of a Hyderabad summer
Midnight birds, the only company in a strange land
We both came together in a shower of tears and embraces
Where forgotten secrets of the past
Were dug up and displayed
To quell the doubts of today.

After stifling us for hours with the crippling heat
Suddenly the night decieded to change colours.
The full moon shone from the early morning trees
Which we saw between silhoutes of branches and cigerette smoke
The wind was passionate and all embracing
It rocked the leaves and pulled the trees in its pent up fury...
And we both watched a new dawn and the first showers of summer
In each other's arms...

That Evening in Cantonment

We entered the magic land
Aware of our outsider-status...
We were entering the gates where we should not be...
Me, a settled woman,
You, a young exploring man.

We cycled through the setting sun,
Aware of only ourselves.
We walked into the deer park
Our hands clutching at each others selves,
Desparately, beautifully.

We knew that this would be our only evening together
The darkness which came into us
Enveloped us with a motherly blanket
Of forgetfulness and sweet sin...
It dragged us into the land of dark woods and frustrated passions...
Of guilty minds and clutching hands....

We watched the setting sun together
On top of small hillock
Which we both climbed with bated breath
That evening in the cantonment.

A Broken Relationship

What is a broken relationship?
To you, it is a break of trust.
To me,it is a broken space.
For you, my time with my self…is an assault on you
For me, it is a fragile moment which requires looking after…

These Words are All I Have…

These words are all I have…
These words are all I clutch…
There is a spot in this wide, wide web
Where I pen my life into words…
Where I shirk myself to fit the world
Where I survive, in spite of repeated attacks
Of ignoring or humiliations…
This spot…these words…

What Happens in a Divided Mind?

What happens in a divided mind?
Any touch reminds you of what you miss.
Your mind becomes a parallel processing machine.
A walk in the starlit night with your man
Who supposedly shares your life
Ends in uncomfortable silence after you
Both have exhausted the roll count of
Vegetables in the fridge.
Yet, you remember what could have been!
That you both could have just looked into the open sky
And seen the single star blazing down upon you.
This is what happens in a divided mind.

Major Decisions in Life

Major decisions in life
Are taken in lonely restaurant tables.
To give up identities...
To submit for life.
Because, he understands
Love only as submission.
To give up the flighty mind...
So fragile, so precious...maybe slightly mad,
To bear down with responsibilites...
Of adulthood and womanhood.

Restraint and Wildness

What is there for a man to be restrained?
Nothing...
Whereas...How can a woman be wild?
In this mad, sad world?

Honesty

...is the best policy,
Says everyone.
But, in relationships
Lovers turn out to be
More and more efficient liars.
Marraige is responsiblity...
Extravagances of sacrifices are demanded,
Withheld first...
and then given under duress...

It Rained Yesterday

It rained yesterday,
After days of stifling heat,
Dust settling in road, leaves, rooms...
The sky broke into peals of lightening,
Clouds gathered,
To fall down in huge droplets of water
Breaking the parched earth
It rained heavily, yesterday...