Suicide

End the day
With remembrances of things past
For these memories of hurt and longing,
Clinging and stifled screams
Will never be remembered again.
Remember also those quite evenings of loneliness
When the splashed colours of the sky
Emptied itself into an orgasmic end
And then settled into ash brown solitary evenings.
Also remember
The small and irritating
Voice within you
Always unsettled, worried
Ready to fly…but, never able.
End the day...
Like this…

A Tranqulizer Named Death

Time is my eternal tranquilizer
Where, I stand still
And watch life move slowly
In absolute slowness
And has no direction
No purpose to achieve
And…
Where death almost touches me
With its long, idle fingers
And, it does not matter.

Sleepwalking through Life

Sleep,
Sleep through your youth
Of passive death
Where enemies crash down as expected
And friends hit out, surprising you
Each time with the virulence of attacks
So much so that,
You hardly distinguish between both
And,
Walk through life
Sleepwalking
Alone
Still with death…

Depression

Life in slow motion
A Black and white picture
Of crowd scenes
You see everyone
You see no one.
The moment before you black out
From numb pain
Of incessant tirades
A procession of blurred faces
A glint of light from
Today's selling face
Peering at you from the latest hoarding
As you walk along
With your heavy baggage
Into your dark train.

Tonight I am Wrapped in Grey

Tonight I am wrapped in grey
While flames of desire
Dance around me in flourescent reds.
Colourful processions of passion
March past me - watching grey eyes
'Nice' next-door flower-on-the-wall...
Me...
Tonight, I am wrapped in grey.

Being a Teacher

The everyday hostile mob
Hateful looks, sneering laughter,
Questions which do not demand answers
But are asked only for approval from behind
Displays of pride and arrogance
Where wealth and its words articulates...

A Thin Film of Dust

A thin film of dust
Settles in my room.
On all the furniture,
Chairs, table,telephone, computers...
It devours the unused books and pens.
A thin film of dust...

Job Hunting

writing one more resume, for one more job...
publication, conferences and job experience
of an inflated self...
while i feel shrunk and shrivelled up...

sleeping through my holidays, without reason.

There are Many Ways to Die

There are many ways to die
Numb your senses with tranquilizers
Purchased from the nearby medical hall
Look straigt into the shopkeeper's lustdripping eyes
And tell him the name of the drug
Be careful - do not buy more than a limited number of pills
Then go to the next store
Repeat the procedure
Till your cupboard hoards
Sweet, numbing sleep.

Or, you can jump into the madness of a passionate love affair
Like a blind jump from the sevenstoried building of your past
If you are really mad...you can get him to jump with you
to enter the pact together
That would be dramatic and apocalyptical
People will remember you both
Mythical characters
Romeo and Juliet
But, you know that you killed each other
Rather than
being together in death

yet another way, which many women follow
is to slowly build your tomb brick by single
Smoke lonely cigerrettes in dishevelled bedrooms
Cry yourselves to sleep...
Or, just sleep...
Morning, noon and night.
yes...
there are many ways to die.


A Reply to this Poem

Another poem



There are many ways to survive
Block emotions by reason
Shield the heart which has done bad service with mind
Every time you feel you’re ready to believe her -
The beautiful lady which calls herself your fair fate
Shut the gates and grimace at it,
It should be fun to wait and see
its true face, when it gives up.
Repeat the procedure
Each time it gets to know
That there is another entrance to your heart
Be careful - it changes its delusive approach –
It could be pure like first snow, or tender like bud
It can show gentle and noble like yellow autumn,
and passionate like summer sun.
Or you can choose to have un-pact -
Conceive a child who will never know its father
May be people will remember you
As ‘challengers of society’
But, you know that you’ve stolen its life for yourself
Rather than,
Gifting it life
Yet another way, which many women follow
is to slowly scramble your way by single
Smoke lonely cigarettes in disheveled bedrooms
write a line or two to dream ...
Or, just dream ...
Morning, noon and night.
yes...
there are many ways to survive.