Traces of You

You left your traces
In the lyrics which I wouldn't listen before
In the pain of a song screaming my midnight to tatters
In the words of book left casually behind
Which i now read
Like a secret love letter.

Oh, you left your traces.

Searing Your Way

You have grown into my skin
Seared your way through tears
Songs, words, looks.
When you lived with me
You just meant a skin-deep touch
Now, you mean, a livid pain.
As memory.
Which cannot be ignored.

You have stalked your way
Into my existence.
And, remain there,
To stay.

Braided

Through thoughts
I have braided
My life with yours.
With your silence
the knot only entangles more.


you can unbraid us now,
Only with those brutal scissors
of coldness...

Flowers

You sent me flowers
White liles of your solitude,
Tumba flowers of your early childhood
Thorny rose bushes from a wild youth
Blood red shoe flowers of hurt times
You sent me so many flowers
Every day...

Sudden Silences

Distance hurts
So, we bacame close
At the pace
Of two colliding locomotives
Without breaks.

Now we know
Closeness hurts more.
So, we draw apart
Peeling each other off
Like skins covering burnt flesh.

Veins of a Grass Flower

She walks with windy steps
Collecting all the colour around her.
She steps by to see
The tiny veins of the one-petal lotus,
Which we trample along,
Laughing loudly at her unceasing witticisms,
Dark, pathetic and rich with sorrow
Yet strangely amusing
That we laugh till our sides ache
And love her still more for it.

For a Friend

Your one-petal lotus
Hidden in ordinary grass.
Should I thank you, dear
For pointing to my steps
Trampling tiny veins of soft pink?

In Hate with Goodbyes

Written by a friend who shared her love for Saqi with me in those days of playfulness and pain...)

Oh Saqi, I need your assistance tonight,
Filled with sorrow, my heart needs your jug by its side
You should save me, if grief tries to hold me too tight
Oh Saqi, I need your assistance tonight.

Oh Saqi, you were there to share my joy,
You were there when I had to dance off the night
You had taught me that laughter belongs to the right
So Saqi, I need your assistance tonight

Oh Saqi, you were there to share my fear
You were there when I learnt running a kite
You helped me to trim off the fear and fight
But Saqi, I need your assistance tonight

Oh Saqi, will you help me to get through the storm?
Are you here? Think we can sail on with no sight?
Please make sure the jug is full through the night!
I better sink in it, and rather drop out of sight
So Saqi… I need your assistance tonight!



My Reply to her

Darling…
Let me hold you tight…
For…
Today your cup overflows,
Not with wine, but with tears.
There is only one rule in this game, my love
Hold on tight
To your cup
Drink deeply whatever it holds
Then…
Wine tastes like tears
And tears like wine.

Home

A music strip
Binds the brother and the sister…
Through an alley of their common language
Of childhood tunes and forgotten memories…
Where, you wandered
Thinking you were alone…
But, discovered each other
Just before you turned
To finally reach home
Together…

A Glimpse in the Morning

The open window
Behind it
The silent man.
A glimpse of a woman
which takes him
Into the morning of work, books, libraries...

A Quarell

We had a quarrel…
About the fragrance on the way
To my room
He said they were guava flowers
I was positive they were the heady smell of the pink and white flowers
Which lacks a name in this foreign tongue.
Finally…
We both turned out right
We saw the guava trellising the creeper of the pink and white flowers…

That Evening in Cantonment

We entered the magic land
Aware of our outsider-status...
We were entering the gates where we should not be...
Me, a settled woman,
You, a young exploring man.

We cycled through the setting sun,
Aware of only ourselves.
We walked into the deer park
Our hands clutching at each others selves,
Desparately, beautifully.

We knew that this would be our only evening together
The darkness which came into us
Enveloped us with a motherly blanket
Of forgetfulness and sweet sin...
It dragged us into the land of dark woods and frustrated passions...
Of guilty minds and clutching hands....

We watched the setting sun together
On top of small hillock
Which we both climbed with bated breath
That evening in the cantonment.

A True Love Poem: To a Woman Friend

This day,
I dream of breaking the wall
Which we built, brick by hateful brick,
Between us
With one magical stroke of a single word -
The password to my heart -
Which is your name
My darling!

For Dostoevsky

You wrote of that very rare thing.
Talked about so much by everyone..
Cheapened by its absolute simplicity.
You wrote, about dark minds,
Mysterious doings, absolute helplessness
And undying human pride.
Surprisingly found them in thieves, murderers, gamblers, prostitutes…
The underbelly of last century’s Russia.
Feverish debates of the mind
Sterile discussions of the intellectuals –
Words, words, words…
All melting with this commonplace thing –

Love…

Euphoria

To wake up -
With expectation.


To sleep -
With dreams.


To walk -
With hope.


To gaze -
With love.

Clandestine Love

These days I have a young man
Who comes home
To share cigerettes and long tales.

Our moments are clandestinely sweet
And forcefully platonic.

He reads my books, my eyes,
And sometimes...
My depression-laced voice over the phone.

I voraciously read the scattered pencil marks
In his dog-eared paper-backs
to get glimpses of his youthful loneliness -
dark, curtained afternoons of his recent past,
his un-naturally euphoric evenings...
when he is forced into silence
about his sleep-filled drowsy, tired days...