Envy

I had cursed you...
I had cursed that golden evening light
That fell on your joy of being together.
I had cursed
That look of love that crossed your starry eyes
When he came as a night visitor.

Waiting in the lonely darkness
of the security gaurd's room,
I saw you both drifting past
Unaware of me, unaware of the world,
Unaware of my curse.

Exiled by your joys to my faraway homeland,
I watched the monsoon rains splash
Into my heart,
Searing those open wounds.

I could see the distant earthquake
rock my little world with
just a single kiss he planted
On your waiting lips.

Can I say "sorry" now?
Now, when the world has changed?
Now, when the dust has settled over the quake-hit town
and fresh blood has flown
Through the same old cities?

Can I wipe away
the curse that issued
From my parched lips of yesterday?
Does it matter now?

Instead of comment on a peice called "Envy"

It was true and beautiful like the nature itself
I might have guessed: it was not forever,
But I could not resist loving that beauty
You know he was too beautiful to be unloved.
Didn’t he say ‘love you till eternity’…?

You taught me not to be scared of passion,
I recall I score the highest in exam?
And more…I threatened others becoming one!
You know I was giddy with love
of yours, of his, of the whole world…
It pour on me like the same monsoon rains splash?
From the moment I stepped into your door…
Didn’t it?

It was later, when
I saw your tired eyes, I did.
I even read your curse through the door, you wouldn’t open,
but never disappointment.
I felt something was wrong, but never thought.
You know, drunk that I was, with a blind love
for a man… it didn’t let me to...
“It” doesn’t let you be sober most of the time
Does it?

But I always felt: whatever happens,
You will not stop loving me.
- A confidence resembling a belief in parental love.
You knew I fell asleep with your notes on my hand,
- Pink, sometimes yellow scraps of paper stuck on my door
Didn’t you?

Than,
You left, he did too, than, I had to.
A long-time healing wound …
with shape of a triangle remained.
Didn’t it?

My dear scar...
Carved by hands of an old experienced surgeon
which teaches a world, crashing another one.